Friday, September 25, 2015

Year 5 update ...

I posted a while back about Year 4 being crazy and how it would be nice to have a calm year of marriage. We were doing pretty good with that ... until ... June 30, 2015. I thought I had a stomach bug and stayed home to work. I started feeling fine a little bit later and started to put all of the pieces together ... turns our, year 5 is not without an exciting event. Baby Fox #2 is due February 24, 2016!!!! We will find out today (September 25th) if Baby #2 is a boy or girl! So exciting to find out and continue on this crazy adventure!

Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Year 4

Josh and I are celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary this week. I have been using this app called Timehop (it's a nice trip down memory lane everyday, you should download it!) and today this popped up:

"In Wilmington celebrating a great first year of marriage and life changes!! In 1 year of marriage, Josh has finished grad school, gotten a job, we moved to Sanford and now bought a house in Raleigh! Excited for what year 2 has in store for the Fox's!!"

This got me to thinking about marriage years 2, 3 and 4. They have been just as exciting and crazy. 

Well, year 2 was great! The major changes included my company being sold and moving into the above new house.

Year 3 was a bit crazy also. It included my company being sold AGAIN, me quitting said job and starting a new one, getting the cutest little puppy that ever lived.

Year 4 might be the craziest one yet. Why, you ask? Well, for starters, I was pregnant for most of it. Which led to the best little baby in the world being born! Oh, and Josh quit his job and started a new one. Tucker had leg surgery.

In my head, I think a year of no big things sounds really nice. In reality, I've been looking up puppies at the SPCA just about every day and at daycare, I see these little, tiny, precious, still fit in baby clothes babies and I think 'man, I want another'. I can honestly say that I am more excited to see what happens this year then I have been in a while. Charlie is constantly changing and hitting these huge milestones. I know big things and changes are happening to Josh and I as well (just not as obvious) and I am so excited for those.

I feel like I stopped for a second and now we are grown-up adults and not mid-20 year old newlyweds with nothing to lose. I love it and wouldn't want it any other way.

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

2014

I don't think anybody reads my blog anymore but if you do, hey!

I wanted to write some thoughts and reflections from 2014. It was a great year full of exciting things as well as some difficult things! Josh and I celebrated 4 years of marriage, Josh started a new job, I turned 30 and we had a baby. Since we have known each other, we have had several major life milestones each year. Our goal for 2015 is to have 0 or, if any, maybe just try for 1 and no more than that!!

We found out on January 30th that I was pregnant. I told Josh I was pregnant and we both just looked at each other in shock and like 'okay, what now?' We decided to wait another hour then I took the other pregnancy test - just to be sure as if the first one might have been wrong. We were excited and scared and so happy all at the same time. We didn't tell anybody that night - not Emily at all, right? I wanted to tell as many people as possible in person - including my sister, who was 8 months pregnant at the time. I didn't make it long, maybe a week, before breaking the news to her. I avoided my parents until we were in Charleston to meet Carley and was able to tell them in person. My dad cried and thought it was a joke!

A few weeks after we found out I was pregnant, we knew something was wrong and Josh and I both freaked out. I moved my OB appointment to the next day to make sure everything was okay. The next day happened to be the craziest snow/ice day in Raleigh ... anybody remember this?

With the crazy snow storm happening, the doctor moved my appointment from the afternoon to earlier in the day. As soon as I got their, the ultrasound lady (who I grew to love over my pregnancy) got everything setup and confirmed the baby was just fine. She then realized what was causing the spotting, there had been a twin. When she said that, my mind started racing. I was so relieved that the 1 baby we knew about was fine but instantly started mourning the loss of what could have been. It was a strange feeling. Not knowing you had something until it was gone. I still look at Charlie every once in a while and wonder what it would have been like if there had been 2. Would it have been another little girl? Would they have been identical? The assured me that the baby was fine and I went back for 2 more ultrasounds over the next 2 weeks to make sure everything was developing correctly with Charlie. That afternoon was difficult. I left the doctor to head home and because of the above storm, it took me 4 hours to get home. Josh and I talked several times on my way home and when I finally got home, I just cried while he hugged me. I knew that these things don't make sense and we decided to focus on the healthy baby we did have instead of dwelling on what we lost. During my pregnancy, I would see a mom out with baby twins and choke back tears. It is definitely way easier now then it was before and I am thankful for Charlie and her health. Josh told me one day that it's not fair we don't have that baby but my mom (who passed away when I was 13) now has a grandbaby with her in Heaven (and queue the waterworks for like an hour after he told me that). Things don't always make sense and as much as I try to make it make sense, it never will. I will never fully understand why God lets these things happen.


Thoughts from Humans of NY Facebook page

"I've been a deep believer my whole life. 18 years as a Southern Baptist. More than 40 years as a mainline Protestant. I'm an ordained pastor. But it's just stopped making sense to me. You see people doing terrible things in the name of religion, and you think: 'Those people believe just as strongly as I do. They're just as convinced as I am.' And it just doesn't make sense anymore. It doesn't make sense to believe in a God that dabbles in people's lives. If a plane crashes, and one person survives, everyone thanks God. They say: 'God had a purpose for that person. God saved her for a reason!' Do we not realize how cruel that is? Do we not realize how cruel it is to say that if God had a purpose for that person, he also had a purpose in killing everyone else on that plane? And a purpose in starving millions of children? A purpose in slavery and genocide? For every time you say that there's a purpose behind one person's success, you invalidate billions of people. You say there is a purpose to their suffering. And that's just cruel."

Sunday, August 03, 2014

Reflections on my 20's

My 20's came and went. I was reflecting back on that decade of my life and how much I learned, grew and was changed. 

I had my heart broken and broke some hearts. 

I let myself fall in love for the first time which led to marrying the man of my dreams. 

I learned that time does heal lots of wounds. Some wounds will never be healed but time makes them better. 

Became a puppy mama and learned that I'm a sucker for cute little puppies. 

I lost some great people that had a major influence in my life. I also gained some wonderful people that are continuing to impact my life. 

I learned to fight fairly.

I learned (and will always be learning) how to be a wife. 

I lived in my first apartment and bought my first home. 

I became an aunt and made others and aunt. 

Found my first grown-up job but also quit that job to find another. I learned that I'm not defined by the title or work that I do. 

I learned the value of true friendships and what it means to be there for people- like truly be there. I am still learning how to let people be there for me and how to ask for help. 

I realized that no matter how old I get the world will always be a scary place. 

Discovered and still discovering the joy of motherhood but also learned the fear of the unknown and the devastation of loss.

I know there is so much more that I learned and so many other things that changed me. 


Monday, December 09, 2013

Oceans

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Wine wine wine

This was a great bottle of wine! We give it a 6.5 out of 10!


Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Change, emotions, love... Oh and candy crush!

A lot has been going on lately. Changes at work, big changes and lots of uncertainty. It's been a roller coaster of emotions the last few weeks. I've been really reflective of the last 7 years of my life since I graduated college and started my job... 7 years seems like a long time but it has flown by, soooooo fast! I love my co-workers and didn't realize how unusual it is to have so many close friends at work until recently. We have our own little family at work and its great!!

I know no matter what the future holds, I will still have those relationships and I'm very grateful for that!!

I've also become addicted to candy crush. Anybody else out there??? 

Monday, January 21, 2013

Wasps vs Josh and the Element

I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog to 'the random things that you won't believe happened but actually happened to me and I took a picture so you have to believe it.'

This actually happened a while back but I've been on a blogging hiatus and never posted this. I stopped to get gas one evening on the way home and noticed a little wasp nest in the gas tank. I jumped back in the car because I'm not a fan of wasps. Well no wasps came flying out or anything so I filled up the tank and shut that scary nest back in there. A few days later, Josh and I are on the way to Charleston and stop to get gas... Guess what?! Those little boogers are NOT dead!!! One comes flying out so we shut the tank and run into the gas station. They have nothing to kill wasps. We try to look for a wal mart and are figuring out some mathematical equation of the chances of running out of gas or stopping and getting stung by wasps. We finally decided we had to get gas.

We didn't stop at the gas station to get rid of our wasps because we didn't want to chance anybody else getting attacked by our new pets. So we drive past the gas station and park on the side of the road. There were not a lot of sticks but we finally found one! Josh decides I will sit in the drivers seat and be ready to drive off once he jumps back in the car. Bravely, he gets the stick and opens the gas tank and starts batting around trying to get the dang nest out of the tank. Part of it falls out and Josh runs back to the car. Finally after a few more attempts, Josh wins and we are able to get gas to finish our tip to Charleston to see our nieces for their 1st and 2nd birthdays!